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1. “Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.”
W.C. Fields
2. “Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
W.C. Fields
3. “Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
W.C. Fields
4. “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”
WC Fields
5. “Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.”
W.C. Fields
6. “You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.”
W.C. Fields
7. “Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.”
W.C. Fields
8. “I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.”
W. C. Fields
9. Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
10. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
11. Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
12. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
13. There are three things in life that are extremely hard ;
steel, a diamond, and to know oneself.
14. You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.
15. I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake…which I also keep handy.
16. “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.”
? W.C. Fields, W.C. Fields by Himself
17. “There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.”
W.C. Fields
18. “Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”
W.C. Fields
19. “Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!”
W.C. Fields
20. “Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!”
W. C. Fields
21. “Never give a sucker an even break.”
W.C. Fields
22. “Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?”
W.C. Fields.
23. “Always smile first thing in the morning.
Might as well get it over with.”
W.C. Fields, The Day I Drank a Glass of Water
24. “I was in love with a beautiful blond once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.”
W.C. Fields
25. “Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”
W.C. Fields,
26. “Why that's a colossal fib. I'm a very kind person. I've never hurt man, beast or child. Except when I had to. I belong to the Bare-Hand-Wolf-Choker Association.”
W C Fields
27. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
28. Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
29. You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.
30. “Women are crazy about pets.
They're just crazy. Pets have nothing to do with it.”
W.C. Fields,
31. “Waitress: Don't be so free with your hands.
Fields: Listen honey, I was only trying to guess your weight.”
W.C. Fields,
32. “I was the first comic in world history, so they told me, to pick fights with children.”
W C Fields
33. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
34. “Once the city gets into a ba-hoys sa-hystem, he loses the ha-hankerin' for the ca-hountry.”
W. C. Fields
35. When I tell you to go out and tell one of these palookas that I'm out, go out and tell 'em I'm out. Don't have these buzzards walk in on me. When I don't wanna see 'em I don't...don't look at me that way.”
W.C. Fields
36. Hi tooti-pie. Everything under control?”
W.C. Fields, T
37. Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
38. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
39. I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it
40. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
41. Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
42. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
43. Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
44. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
45. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
46. No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
47. Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.
48. I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
49. I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
50. Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
51. You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
52. Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
53. You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
54. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.
55. Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again.
56. There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
57. I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
58. I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
59. When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
60. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
61. Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
62. Drowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting?
63. There are three things in life that are extremely hard ; steel, a diamond, and to know oneself.
64. Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?
65. I was in love with a beautiful blond once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
66. “If I can make them laugh and through that laughter make this old world seem just a little brighter, then I am satisfied.”
– W.C. Fields
67. “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh.
68. “Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.”
69. The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.”
70. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
71. “Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.”
72. “Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”
73. “Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
74. “Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.”
75. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
76. “If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”
-- W. C. Fields
77. “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”
-- W. C. Fields
78. “I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.”
-- W. C. Fields
79. “Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.”
80. “Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.”
-- W. C. Fields
81. “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
-- W. C. Fields
82. “Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas”
-- W. C. Fields
83. “I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”
-- W. C. Fields
84. “I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.”
-- W. C. Fields
85. “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”
-- W. C. Fields
86. “Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.”
-- W. C. Fields
87. “Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”
-- W. C. Fields
88. “Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.”
-- W. C. Fields
89. “My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.”
-- W. C. Fields
90. “Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.”
-- W. C. Fields
91. “So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.”
92. “The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.”
-- W. C. Fields
93. “Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.”
-- W. C. Fields
94. “It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.”
-- W. C. Fields
95. “I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.”
-- W. C. Fields
96. I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. W. C. Fields
97. Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. W. C. Fields
98. When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. W. C. Fields
99. Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive. W. C. Fields
100. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. W. C. Fields
101.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
102.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
103.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
104.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
105.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
106.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
107.
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
108.
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
109.
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
110.
A woman drove me to drink and I never had the decency to thank her.
111.
I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son- of- a b*tch, I forget it.
112.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
113.
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
114.
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
115.
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
116.
There are three things in life that are extremely hard ;
steel, a diamond, and to know oneself.
117.
You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.
118.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake…which I also keep handy.
119.
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
120.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Related Tags: W.C. Fields Status in English 2022
W.C. Fields Status in English 2022
1. “Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.”
W.C. Fields
2. “Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
W.C. Fields
3. “Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
W.C. Fields
4. “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”
WC Fields
5. “Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.”
W.C. Fields
6. “You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.”
W.C. Fields
7. “Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.”
W.C. Fields
8. “I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.”
W. C. Fields
9. Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
10. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
11. Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
12. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
13. There are three things in life that are extremely hard ;
steel, a diamond, and to know oneself.
14. You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.
15. I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake…which I also keep handy.
16. “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.”
? W.C. Fields, W.C. Fields by Himself
17. “There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.”
W.C. Fields
18. “Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”
W.C. Fields
19. “Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!”
W.C. Fields
20. “Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!”
W. C. Fields
21. “Never give a sucker an even break.”
W.C. Fields
22. “Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?”
W.C. Fields.
23. “Always smile first thing in the morning.
Might as well get it over with.”
W.C. Fields, The Day I Drank a Glass of Water
24. “I was in love with a beautiful blond once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.”
W.C. Fields
25. “Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”
W.C. Fields,
26. “Why that's a colossal fib. I'm a very kind person. I've never hurt man, beast or child. Except when I had to. I belong to the Bare-Hand-Wolf-Choker Association.”
W C Fields
27. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
28. Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
29. You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.
30. “Women are crazy about pets.
They're just crazy. Pets have nothing to do with it.”
W.C. Fields,
31. “Waitress: Don't be so free with your hands.
Fields: Listen honey, I was only trying to guess your weight.”
W.C. Fields,
32. “I was the first comic in world history, so they told me, to pick fights with children.”
W C Fields
33. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
34. “Once the city gets into a ba-hoys sa-hystem, he loses the ha-hankerin' for the ca-hountry.”
W. C. Fields
35. When I tell you to go out and tell one of these palookas that I'm out, go out and tell 'em I'm out. Don't have these buzzards walk in on me. When I don't wanna see 'em I don't...don't look at me that way.”
W.C. Fields
36. Hi tooti-pie. Everything under control?”
W.C. Fields, T
37. Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
38. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
39. I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it
40. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
41. Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
42. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
43. Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
44. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
45. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
46. No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
47. Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.
48. I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
49. I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
50. Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
51. You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
52. Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
53. You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
54. Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.
55. Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again.
56. There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
57. I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
58. I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
59. When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
60. Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
61. Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
62. Drowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting?
63. There are three things in life that are extremely hard ; steel, a diamond, and to know oneself.
64. Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?
65. I was in love with a beautiful blond once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
66. “If I can make them laugh and through that laughter make this old world seem just a little brighter, then I am satisfied.”
– W.C. Fields
67. “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh.
68. “Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.”
69. The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.”
70. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
71. “Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.”
72. “Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”
73. “Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
74. “Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.”
75. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
76. “If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”
-- W. C. Fields
77. “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”
-- W. C. Fields
78. “I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.”
-- W. C. Fields
79. “Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.”
80. “Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.”
-- W. C. Fields
81. “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
-- W. C. Fields
82. “Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas”
-- W. C. Fields
83. “I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”
-- W. C. Fields
84. “I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.”
-- W. C. Fields
85. “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.”
-- W. C. Fields
86. “Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.”
-- W. C. Fields
87. “Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”
-- W. C. Fields
88. “Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.”
-- W. C. Fields
89. “My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.”
-- W. C. Fields
90. “Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.”
-- W. C. Fields
91. “So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.”
92. “The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.”
-- W. C. Fields
93. “Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.”
-- W. C. Fields
94. “It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.”
-- W. C. Fields
95. “I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.”
-- W. C. Fields
96. I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. W. C. Fields
97. Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. W. C. Fields
98. When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. W. C. Fields
99. Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive. W. C. Fields
100. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. W. C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
102.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
103.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
104.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
105.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
106.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
107.
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
108.
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
109.
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
110.
A woman drove me to drink and I never had the decency to thank her.
111.
I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son- of- a b*tch, I forget it.
112.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
113.
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
114.
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
115.
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
116.
There are three things in life that are extremely hard ;
steel, a diamond, and to know oneself.
117.
You can fool some of the people some of the time — and that’s enough to make a decent living.
118.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake…which I also keep handy.
119.
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
120.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Related Tags: W.C. Fields Status in English 2022