Top 100 Comedy Status in English 2020



Comedy Status in English 2020

Comedy Status in English 2020

Comedy Status in English 2020


1. Ignorance can be educated and crazy can be medicated but there's no cure for stupid.

2. Speaking for the introverts, he said, “When you grow up introverted, your idea of enjoying is different. If you tell me, bro, enjoy yourself. I will go to sleep for three days.”

3. Putting us back in our places, reminded us, “You can’t be impatient with your parents. They are like, ‘we used to clean your potty, remember that?'”

4. When Tanmay deciphered Daler Mehendi songs for us saying, “Table Tennis athlete from China is called Ding Ning. If you say her name eight times, somewhere Daler Mehendi starts to sing Rang De Basanti.” Oh, well!

5. An initiative to remind us how old we are by Varun Grover. When he decided to tell us how some things have lost their sheen by saying, “Kiran Bedi, Manmohan Singh, Derek O’Brien, and Floppy Disk. Things that were awesome in the 90s but are horribly depressing now.”

6. Aditi Mittal told us about how our society thinks about an independent girl when she ripped an uncle who told her, “Beta lovely comedy but do your parents know that you are saying all these things on stage?”

7. In a man’s world, showing everyone the mirror of sarcasm, Punya said, “What would you do if you woke up as a man one day? I’ll be like woah, now I can do anything.”

8. Taking a humorous dig at IIPM founder, Sorabh Pant said, “Just saw Arindam Chaudhari. Told him, ‘I recognize you.’ He burst out crying, ‘I wish you were University Grants Commission.'”

9. When Tanmany spoke against bullying. Said, “I have always been overweight, and a huge part of my childhood revolved around trying to be funny as a defense mechanism.

10. Bringing us back to reality said,” People say reality is stranger than fiction. I don’t agree. Mere ko ek bhi panda dikha de jo kung fu kar sakta hai.”

11. I should be given an award for keeping my mouth shut when there's so much that needs to be said!

12. I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills!

12. My life is like a romantic comedy except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.

13. My boss told me to have a good day... So I went home.

14. I want to share everything with you, girl: let's start with your bank account.

15. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play, we're unrehearsed.

16. Omg, I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left!

17. Her ex-boyfriend turned out to be gay. She found out the soft way.

18. I open the window for a second to let a fly out and 10 flies, 6 mosquitoes, 3 months, 2 mice and a Jehovah's witness get in.

19. How you look when you wake up and find out the charger wasn't in the wall.

20. My diet plan: make all of my friend's cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look!

1. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me I will laugh at you.

2. A cool feature of the Nano they don’t tell you about is that even beggars ignore you at a traffic signal. Relaxing facility.

3. My Internet is down today. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. They are irresponsible.

4. The human brain is amazing, It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exams.

5. Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.

6. You think I’m cute when I’m mad? Well, buckle up sweet cheeks – I’m about to get freakin’ adorable.

7. I’m at the point now where I don’t want to impress anyone anymore. If people like me the way I am, great. If they don’t, well it’s their loss.

8. I really don’t care what you think about me. Unless you think I’m awesome. In that case – you’re totally right. Carry on!

9. “Employee of the Month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

10. I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job on the road crew, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

11. When a bird hits your windshield, have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

12. If you keep annoying me, I’ll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it’s Santa’s hotline.

13. My Internet is down today. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. They are irresponsible.

14. My secret talent is getting tired without doing anything.is so common, why are there so many people without it?

15. True friendship: Walking into a person’s house and having your Wi-Fi connect automatically.

16. My girlfriend keeps stealing my sweatshirts, and I keep replacing them. We now have 450 sweatshirts, and they’re all in her closet.

17. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.

18. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

19. Good news is I’m smiling. The bad news is it’s the kind of smile that people should fear.

20. If you dislike me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind and you don’t matter!

21. That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.

22. Being original is difficult…you can’t be like me. There is only one master copy and rest all is photocopy.

23. I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.

24. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

25. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

26. I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had a low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger.

27. Kill tension before tensions kill you, reach your goal before goal kicks you, live life before life leaves you.

28. Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain, but you can’t make a rainbow, without a little rain.

29. Success always hugs you in private but failure always slaps you in public. That’s life.
 
30. When I was a boy, I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

31. Every mother on earth gave birth to child except my mother, She gave birth to legend!

32. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

33. Sitting in class wondering how the hell the teacher
got the job.

34. Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you.

35. I can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

36. Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

37. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.

38. Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do.

39. If you like these quotes than don’t forget to share these quotes with your friends on your social profiles.
 
40. Go for someone who is not only proud to have you but will also take every risk just to be with you.

41. You know you’re in love when you see the world in her eyes and her eyes everywhere in the world.

42. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

43. I don’t know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I’m near you.

44. Place your time and energy on someone who will add sunshine to your life. Life is too short to waste on the wrong one.

45. In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

46. Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you’ve seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right here with you.

47. Real boyfriend sees no other females, Because his eyes are only dedicated for his girl.

48. I’m not anti-fashion, but I’ve always had a bit of a punk attitude. That’s important, I think. I do my own thing.

49. From time to time, I dream about not knowing you because I cannot sleep at night, thinking about you!

50. I will not tell you different stories about love. Not because I don’t love you. It’s because I am going to make my own love story with you!

51. Love cannot be in doubt. When you find true love, you know it for sure. If you are not satisfied, it`s not real love.

52. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

53. This is going to sound crazy, but…from the moment I first set eyes on you I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.

54. Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life. Because you become what you believe.

55. People think that you fall in love only once. It’s not about me. I fall in love every time I see you.

56. Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks the head, the heart, and the senses simultaneously.

57. Missing someone is an excellent way to stimulate your heart to be patient and open to love.

58. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

59. Girls generally drool over hot guys, but they eventually fall in love with funny guys that make them laugh.

60. Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has lots of money.

61. I can make one promise to you: I will always love you more than any other person who enters your life.

62. Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt by someone you trust.
 
63. Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you.

64. I don’t want a relation where people say they look so cute together. I need a relation where people say, Look how happy they are together.

65. Your cute smiling face is all I need to battle all struggles in my life, it makes my day.

66. You know you’re in love with the right person when you see the world in her eyes and her everywhere in the world.

67. People asked how important you were to me, I smiled and replied like oxygen is to the body.

68. People asked how important you were to me, I smiled and replied like oxygen is to the body.

69. The worlds happiest aren’t those two people who have the most in common. They understand each other perfectly.

70. Don’t marry someone you can just live with. Marry the person who cannot live without and want to be with forever.

71. I meditate for 20 min every morning …..It helps reduce the stress of being 20 min late for everything.

72. I loved a girl and she broke my heart….. Now every piece of my heart loves differenT girlz…. People called it flirt that's not fair…

73. I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you simply can’t handle.

74. Please twiddling my thumbs because the rest room can handle just one a$ hole at a time.

75. Many times a person makes the error of marrying the entire girl when he loves her dimples.

76. I asked God for money, he didn’t give. So I stole money and asked for forgiveness.

77. You marry in order that you'll know one another and therefore the process lasts for infinity.

78. Staying in touch together with your Ex is simply like making a daily call to your teacher.

79. It may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.

80. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

81. WoW now I’m a graduate... Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.

82. WoW now I’m a graduate... Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.

83. At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food.

84. I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as 'free recharge'

85. I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me alone

86. Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm and silent.

87. Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.

88. Act crazy, don't regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up!

89. Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why!

90. Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more.

91. Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

92. My father always told me, find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life

93. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

94. It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

95. If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

96. WoW now I’m a graduate… Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.

97. Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it.

98. I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the internet

99. For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.

100. At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food.

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