[1000+] Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line - Hand-picked By Admin!

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Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line

Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line


601. There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done: school and prison.

602. School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come.


603. It's easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school.

604. School is one long illness with symptoms that switch every five minutes so you think it's getting better or worse. But really it's the same thing for years and years.

605. I said school starts tomorrow. I didnít say I was going to be there.
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606. As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.

607. You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

608. Schools kill time and creativity. Find ways to work around these limitations.

609. You send your child to the schoolmaster, but 'tis the schoolboys who educate him.

610. In recalling their school years, students mostly remember their teachers, and not the courses they took.
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611. My parents didnít want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and thatís the law.

612. School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence.  

613. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

614. Just because you canít dance doesnít mean you shouldnít dance.

615. If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

616. Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.

617. Thereís no ìIî in denial.

618. I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

619. There is nothing on earth intended for innocent people as horrible as a school.

620. How come you never see a headline like ìPsychic Wins Lotteryî?
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621. The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school.

622. No school without spectacular eccentrics and crazy hearts is worth attending.

623. If con is the opposite of pro, then isnít Congress the opposite of progress?

624. When I say I miss school, I mean my friends and the fun. Not the school.

625. I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.

626. At what age do you think itís appropriate to tell ?a highway itís adopted?

627. A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.

628. The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.

629. A hotel minibar allows you to ?see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

630. School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, so why practice?
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631. Hate to break it to you, ?Facebook, but the entire Internet ?is already a Dislike button.

632. Thereís nothing simpler than avoiding people you donít like. Avoiding oneís friends, thatís the real test.

633. In school they told me Practice makes perfect. And then they told me Nobody's perfect, so then I stopped practicing.

634. How can you ever be late for anything in London? They have ?a huge clock right in the middle ?of the town.

635. Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a pay check.

636. You can't learn in school what the world is going to do next year.

637. Hereís some advice: At a job ?interview, tell them youíre willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.

638. And every six months, she would trade in her aging sheep for a new one. Because without a little lamb, Mary didnít know who she was.

639. In school one learns to ask stupid questions of life.

640. Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.

641. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She got her own TLC show. The end.

642. School means work and work means death. Let's all go take a nap.

643. We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon.

644. Sometimes I think war is Godís way of teaching us geography.

645. We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

646. Whoever named ?it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

647. My kitchen floor is sticky, and ?I had to do something about it. So finally I went out and bought some slippers.

648. You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

649. General Mills ?is coming out with an organic Twinkie. Isnít that called a sponge?

650. You know itís time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

651. As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools.

652. Does it disturb anyone else that ìThe Los Angelesî baseball team translates directly to ìThe Angelsî?

653. Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.

654. Show me the man who enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.  

655. I donít know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighbourhood kids.

656. I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.

657. School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need the society as it is.  

658. Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. Thatís for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.

659. Christmas is a baby shower that ?went totally ?overboard.

660. The trouble with school is they give you the answer, then they give you the exam. That's not life.

661. From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

662. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

663. Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

664. Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.

665. Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I am kind of funny about making new friends.

666. Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

667. If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you would not sit for a month.

668. It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

669. Smoking kills. If you are killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

670. The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

671. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

672. There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

673. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

674. Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.

675. What's another word for Thesaurus.

676. If two wrongs do not make a right, try three.

677. I am quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people do not get me, and some people do.

678. Be thankful we are not getting all the government we are paying for.

679. If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

680. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

681. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

682. You cannot really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

683. We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it was not for him, we would be watching television by candlelight.

684. People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

685. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

686. We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.

687. My life needs editing.

688. It's funny what memory does, is not it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail.

689. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

690. I had everything I would hope for, but I was not being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was.

691. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly did not like me for being me.

692. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

693. There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

694. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

695. Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

696. As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

697. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves.

698. Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

699. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

700. I have an unfortunate personality.

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Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line


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