Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Top 100 Funny Status for Whatsapp in English 2020 {Worth Laughing Over!}

Funny Status for Whatsapp in English: Now You Need To Pick Anyone Of These Funny Status / Funny Quotes for Your Facebook & Whatsapp Profile. Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line, Funny Quotes for Whatsapp Status, Funny Whatsapp Status for Girls/Boys.

Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

301. When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard“, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what”.

302. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.

303. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.

304. I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

305. The elevator to success is out of order. You will have to use the stairs, one step at a time.

306. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

307. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.

308. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

309. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.

310. If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving definitely is not for you.

311. When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration.

312. We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

313. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
314. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I have finished two bags of M and Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

315. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

316. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

317. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

318. If you do not know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

319. Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.

320. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.

321. It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.

322. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

323. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I could not give it up because by then I was too famous.

324. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.

325. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

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326. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.

327. The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm.

328. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

329. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.

330. I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

331. You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

332. Do not worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

333. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

334. I did not fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

335. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.

336. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You are on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who will decide where to go.

337. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

338. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.

339. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

340. Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

341.  You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

342. I have met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you are 20 minutes.

343. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour.

344. Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body.

345. Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover.

346.  People often say that motivation does not last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily.

347. As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

348. Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny.

349. If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

350. The great thing about getting older is that you do not lose all the other ages you have been.

351. Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic … The problem was, so did her date.

352.  I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.

353. By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean.

354. When science finally locates the centre of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they are not it.

355. Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.

356. Running a multimillion dollar business can feel like a piece of cake when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter.

357. I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

358. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You cannot possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

359. I have learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the ways he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

360. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

361. Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!

362. For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild.

363. A turkey never voted for an early Christmas.

364. It is funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not to become my mother, and now I am spending the second half of my life desperately hoping to become half the woman that she is.

365. Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt.

366. Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code.

367. The successful know that the road to success is always under construction; they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth.

368. Yesterday, I forgot how a friend hurt my feelings. Today, I forgot what I did to make him mad.

369. Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it's not easy.

370. Life is short. Eat dessert first.

371. When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial expressions turn sympathetic, as if you have just disclosed a serious medical issue.

372. Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms.

373. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.

374. It is a funny thing about life you get back what you put into it.

375. An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it.

376. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.

377. A boat does not go forward if each is rowing his own way.
378. The only time I do not have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.

379. You will be richer in the end than a prince, if you are a friend.

380. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

381. When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain do not complain about the mud!

382. Do not judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.

383. Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

384. Make allowances for your friends' imperfections as readily as you do for your own.

385. The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it.

386. Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor's degree And women gets her master's degree.

387. Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.

388. So, if you feel a smile begin, do not leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!

389. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

390. A mother is the best friend God ever gave.

391. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.
392. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.

393. To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant in the field of battle, rather than a spectator.

394. A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.

395. To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.

396. Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.

397. If you do not understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

Wisdom has two parts: 
1. Having a lot to say.
2. Not saying it.

399. He has a heart of gold - only harder.

400. Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone.

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Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

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